Writing with kids

Finding time to write when there's kids under 10 in the house is brutal.  Finding time to do anything with kids under 10 in the house is a difficult chore, but writing is especially hard because you're stationary.  You have to just stay in one place and think.  My brain can't think with distractions buzzing around constantly.  If I was trying to do the dishes or the laundry or dust or something at least those things don't require much brain function.  You can kindof do those in your sleep, while tuning out the constant buzz of the hive.

So I do a lot of my writing at bedtime or in the early morning.  And since bedtime usually feels like the calm in the air after storming the beach at Normandy (not really, but its the worst analogy I can think of) I usually want to just lay down and not move again for 3 days.  So early morning usually becomes my writing time.

If I can get through an hour before getting ready for work, without falling back asleep, it's a great day.  And I feel great after I've accomplished it.  I love to write.  But I don't love getting up early...

If only there was a way to write by including the kids?  What if I told them what to write, and they were my official typists?  My errors might increase, but spellcheck will catch it.  Or I could do the opposite, and have them tell me what to write and I'll write that.  That's okay as long as I don't care about structure and form.

In the end, writing is not like baking cookies.  You can't let the kids crack a few eggs and it'll still turn out as yummy.  I see a lot of early nights in my future.

The world according to Keith Richards

This is what the future holds - surly teenagers with black eye liner

The Rolling Stones had a lot of insight into the human condition.  I'm not sure if that's surprising or not.  They had a lot of worldly experience I'm sure.  But it was not the clearest vision most of the time.  Let's just say they saw the world through a certain, self-induced fog half of their lives.  But nonetheless, they got a few things right.

For instance, take Sympathy for the Devil.  Actually, that's a bad example.  I don't have a lot of sympathy for the guy who killed the Kennedys.  But Jumping Jack Flash really is a gas, you know?....that might not be that great of an example either.  For the longest time I never knew what that was talking about, and now that I kindof understand it it's really not that great of a life metaphor.

Okay, so the Stones may not have hit the nail on the head every time, but they got it right once at least.  I tell my kids over and over - "Kids.  Mick Jagger says - "you can't always get what you want.  But if you try sometimes, you'll find that you get what you NEED."

This is an especially powerful line at the checkout counter, when they're asking for impulse buys of chips and binaca breath spray.  I swear if they put cans of dog food at that checkout aisle, my kids would ask "Dad, can I get this?"  I don't know how many times I've been asked to buy them hand sanitizer and carmex.  But then I'll belt out Mick's line (bonus points if I sing it in a raspy voice) and generally they stop.  It's mostly because now they're moaning for my to please stop for the love of all that's holy, clutching their ears and writhing on the floor in pain.  But hey, whatever works.

Now, to the lesson learned in all of this: It's okay to deprive your children.  In fact, you MUST deprive them.  I don't think I've ever met a kid who was given everything he ever wanted, and he came out to be just a naturally good person.  Any kid I see who is constantly given whatever he/she asks for usually is a complete "meany" (to use a mild, kid friendly phrase.  I had a few more colorful phrases up my sleeve, but I think you get the point.)

The country - NAY, the WORLD, is going downhill.  The reason is because more and more kids are being born with priviledge.  The way I grew up was not easy or rich - I was the kid with the hand me down clothes and just a few presents for Christmas.  But I never had to go without.  100 years ago the way I grew up would have been considered rich.  That's why the spoiled rich kids a century ago now would probably be considered the standard now.  We have everything we want.  And now we're passing that along to our kids.  And our kids are growing up into jerks.

Please, for the sake of the planet: tell your kids NO.  Tell them Mick sent you.  One day your Grandkids will thank you.  Wait a minute...what is "Brown Sugar" about again?  Those Rolling Stones are crazy.

Always look on the Bright Side of Life...

As crazy as it sounds, Monty Python often helps me through the day.  The context of that skit is unimportant (and possibly disturbing), but at some point a character sings "always look on the bright side of life..." and when things are getting me down I whistle that once in awhile.

We all have things that pump us up, I think.  I do at least.  Things we think of or remember to keep us motivated.  Keep us going.  It's like running or weight lifting.  There comes a point (for me it's about 4 miles, for fellow blooger Amanda over at THE WINK its apparently 6 miles, but I'm not being jealous or competitive or anything) :)

But at that point - the point where you want to slow down, or stop, or give up - you can repeat a mantra to yourself to keep pushing through.  Keep holding on.  Any other cliche' you want to add here.  It's just trying to trick your mind into being positive.  Don't think of anything else but that mantra.  I used to say to myself "take the pain, go for the gain."  Some people I've heard just chant one word, like "win" or "go" over and over.  Whatever works.

I have those for life as well.  Life hands out a few pretty vicious lemons once in awhile.  Another blogger, ApocalypticDad, feels my pain.  His story about CAR TROUBLE reminds me of my own.  And when those kinds of things get me down, I usually think of Monty Python or Jerry Maguire (one of the best Tom Cruise movies ever, if you've never seen it). 

Jerry had a mentor in the movie who would come on once in awhile and give sage advice.  Among these were my morning mantra "I love the morning!  I clap my hands and say, "Today is gonna be a great day!""  Gotta say that when it's 5 in the morning and cold and dark out.  Those covers are very comfy, very tempting.  Jerry helps me out of bed.

The other is "At the end of the day, I love my life, I love my wife, and I wish you my kind of success."
Gotta measure success on your own terms, and when life hands you lemon curve balls, remember what's important.  If you love your wife and kids, and they love you too - nothing else matters.  I wish for that kind of success.

Blog post - http://mredie.com - Post Turkey depression, Pre Holiday Lethargy, and how do I wake these sleeping kids?
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The Flan Incident

Life throws curveballs.  No doubt about it.  I suppose it would be boring if it wasn't like that - if we knew what would happen every day, and it was the same as the day before, that would be torture.  It's good to have a little variety once in awhile.  A little bit of a challenge.  To a point...

When I woke up yesterday, I could not have predicted I would be running with flan at the end of the day.  That would have never crossed my mind.  But that's what happened.  Observe.

I went on a long run about a week ago, and slightly injured my left foot.  So I haven't been out for a run in about 5 days.  So I was itching to continue my regimine yesterday.  I woke up and got ready to go.  I had a staff meeting at lunch time, and some fighting on the playground for dessert.

So, when I finally made it home around 5:00, I was a little exhausted and a little fed up.  I was ready to put my aching foot up and relax.  I was greeted at the door by 5 smiling faces, and a little song and dance number besides. :) I was told we were having takeout mexican for dinner, which suited me just fine, but then I wanted to make sure I got a run in, or I'd feel too guilty.  So I went and picked up the food, but when I got back it was pushing 5:30.

So, the forgot the side of sour cream.  That's okay, but we did pay for it so I wanted to go back and get it.  We fed the kids, but I wanted to wait to eat until I ran, so I didn't run with a belly full of rice and beans (not a good throw up combination).  So around 6:30 I took off out the door for a run.

On the way, I thought I'd go ahead and pick up the sour cream.  The restaurant was very nice, but I was in a hurry.  When the guy came out with the sour cream, he also had a to-go container.  I gave the perfunctory "no, that's okay, you didn't have to do that, etc..." but then he was gone.  And I was holding a flan.

What do you do?  I don't want to waste the flan.  So I picked up the dog's leash and started back toward home, running at a 25 minute mile pace (a little ahead of my normal time!).  How did I get here?  I'm sure if anyone saw me I was a little peculiar.  "He went for a run: great!  He got take-out while he was running? - not so great" they would say as I passed by.

But by that point, with custard sloshing about so much it was running down my arm, I was not going to waste this flan.  I was not going to be another wasteful American - I was an ingenious pioneer American who took what life threw him and made the best of it. I was running with the flan.

When I got back it was basically sloshed around so much it was soup, and most of that had run out the sides of the container.  So it was a waste.  But I had never felt so alive.

I think he's a prodigy (don't all parents?). Best male 5 year old colorer I've seen in years!
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Rex doesn't love the camera. Or else he's just hiding from the world. You can't put your head in the sand forever!
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Putting up the Christmas Decorations

You might think it's too early to put up the Christmas decorations, but this Saturday was the perfect time for me.  Why?  Because I was already out in the yard taking down the Halloween decorations, and I'm not crazy enough to sign up for Thanksgiving decorations.  Next thing you know I'll have to put up Memorial Day decorations and Columbus Day decorations.  Don't we have enough days we have to put out a specific themed tablecloth and towels for?
I am all about efficiency, and if I'm out on the ladder taking down a bunch of pumpkin shaped lights, theres no reason not to put out a few candy caned shaped ones at the same time, right?  And the brilliance of that system is, it was pretty good weather this saturday.  The worst part about Christmas decorations is the wet, cold, miserable weather you have to endure while doing it, always picturing the ambulance ride after you slip on the icy ladder.  And picturing the 500 dollar deductable attached to it.
So we put them up.  The kids helped me, and did a great job at it.  The littlest only broke 4 bulbs, the new 5 year old only choked one other person with a cord of lights, and the two girls did a great job when I asked them to wrap the rope lights around the fence posts.  Of course, they wrapped all the rope lights around only one fence post, but I didn't specify the quantity of posts to light up, so I think they did a great job.
It's fun for the kids to help you out with those sorts of things, and a test of your patience besides.  I got a B- this weekend on my patience test, and I think that's pretty darn good.
But, they'll remember those things forever. Just think about when you're old, and they're tellilng stories about their childhood.  If you don't pay in memories now, it's going to be hell in the old folks home later.  Remember that.

Gardening is over

I finished pulling up the garden this past weekend.  It was a long process, but I'm glad it's done.  The kids helped me, mostly by picking the tomatoes off of the plants beforehand.  What I love is how willing and eager they are to help!  I know it won't be like that forever, but that's certainly a good thing about this age.

Every age I think has certain positives and negatives.  For instance, newborn babies are WAY too fragile.  Negative.  But their cry is so small and cute, it doesn't make you want to hit things.  Positive.  Konner is still in diapers right now.  Negative.  But he's hilarious to watch.  Even when he's just walking somewhere, he does it with a certain awkwardness and style that is just funny.  Instant entertainment. Positive.

The girls are especially positive now, because they are becoming real people.  They can help set the dinner table, take out the trash, do the laundry and the dishes...pretty much everything at this point.  They're like actual productive members of the family.  Last weekend they did all the laundry, clearned up the backyard, and helped me peel apples for freezing.  They watch their brother when he's downstairs, they pick up dog poop - and they can talk and understand things that are a little above a 5 year old.

Not too long ago Keith was playing with his mashed potatoes at the dinner table, swirling and plumping them and whispering strange things to himself.  All I had to do was give a glance to Kassy and we both just kindof smirked and raised our eyebrows.  We didn't have to say anything - it was all understood.  He's weird.  And it's nice to have that connection with my kids.

I wonder what the positives and negatives at my age would be?  They'd probably say "surly and tired - negative."  But, "loves his kids - positive."

Garden - the early days

Lately I’ve taken up gardening. I’m not a big “plant guy” or always had a “green thumb”, but I feel like growing your own food seems like a pretty basic and important life skill, so I want to go for it. Not only do I think it is important for me to know how to do that, but it’s important for me to know so I can teach my kids how to do it as well, not only in words but just in practice. They see me do it, they think “if dad does it, it must be important”, so later in life they feel it is important too. It’s a little daunting to think that my actions today influence their whole world view tomorrow. But that’s why I’m growing the garden!


I started the garden in April. I got some growing lights, and some seed germination tray things (more on those later) and ordered the seeds around February or March (I was determined to get a head start this year). It worked like a charm at first. The kids helped me put the seeds in, and I followed the books to see which ones I should plant inside first, and which are not so good at planting inside (carrots, for instance, they said don’t replant very well. Considering they’re all about the root, I guess that makes sense).

Then we waited. And waited a little more. The little seed leaves came up first, and then some true leaves. I showed the kids and it was a great little learning experience. But then something happened. Nothing else happened. They stopped with the first or second set of true leaves, and wouldn’t really do much more.

My theory on what went wrong goes a little something like this: natural is always better. Just like genetically modified foods and factory made things, even “studio” made carbon copy movies – anything made without any heart and soul, not using the earth and natural materials, anything made in a “factory” is destined to not be as great. I want homegrown – like I want my kids to turn out. Not sickly fluorescent light pale city kids. I want tanned and lean country kids. Kids who grow up in the sunshine by the creek skipping rocks and catching toads.

My plants did all right. Some of them died, but some of them lived. The point was they were just a little weak. Just a little pale. Just a fluorescent light copy of what would grow in the sunshine. And if I had to do that again I would be okay, but now I see that sometimes you can’t put a price – or a timeline – on nature.

If I had it to do again I would have used the sunlight near the windows more, or utilized a greenhouse after the true leaves sprouted. That might have been the solar power those plants really needed! :)

b ball kids.jpg

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MTV got me feeling SAD

Doing what I know I shouldn't – surfing the web looking at random stuff that doesn't help me culturally or intellectually – it occurs to me how far we've fallen from where we started.  I'm looking around for music on itunes or videos on MTV or CMT and it's amazing how little I can share with my 8 year old daughters.

 

My daughters – one in particular – love music.  I love to share music with them.  There's great music out there.  Good dance music.  But I watch the videos and it's a little shocking.  Most of you probably say "yea, that's a no brainer", but these are so far gone beyond even the Madonna and Salt-n-Peppa videos that were so racy back when I was in High School.  First it was the Doors saying "Light my Fire" and Elvis' hips, then it was Madonna in a bra.  It's kept traveling downhill and I don't know how much farther it can go.

 

In the end, what this means to me is that I feel like a small pebble trying to stem the tide of a huge river.  I'm spending my days reminding them to be honest, to be polite, to be nice to others, to be modest…and then they are getting bombarded with a completely opposite message.  "It's cool to brag, fight, step on others to get to the top…money is the most important thing there is…it's okay to use people and be rude, to use inappropriate language…" – those aren't the lyrics to a song but they might as well be.

 

And who are they going to listen to?  The guy in the glasses and sweater-vest who is soooo lame, or Beyonce?  I'd probably listen to Beyonce if I were them.

 

But, that is all frustration.  The reality is, and I know it is, that even a lonely pebble can turn the mighty river.  I know I'm paraphrasing the actual saying, but it's something like that.  I just have to hold firm to propriety.  Let the waters of incivility wash over me.  But I bet Socrates never had to deal with this kind of thing…

Avatar - the Last Airbender

My family and I are hotly anticipating the REAL Avatar movie coming out soon - "The Last Airbender".  We've recently got hooked on the cartoon, and my 8 year olds and 4 year old love it.  To be honest, my wife loves it too, and I think it's really great.  It's a perfect allegory tale about right and wrong, good and evil, protecting whats right - it's great.  And it's not your typical Manga style, like Yu Gi Oh or something that looks ridiculous.  Its a good story, funny and exciting.

 

Don't get my little quip wrong, though.  I like the James Cameren "Avatar" movie a lot - it just stole the name.  I recommend renting "Avatar - The last Airbender Book 1 - Water" at your local videostore or Netflix.  Even without kids I would have enjoyed it.  But the kids sure make it a whole lot funner.

First season plantings

The kids helped me put down the first indoor plantings of the season. Tomatoes, parsley, green peppers...going to be some tasty marinara in about 70 to 85 days! In the end it was a pretty cheap project - seeds were about 12 bucks for each kid to have their own plant they wanted, and a few leftover for dad. Kitty chose mint and Kassy got Chamomile - they'll be tea drinkers. The most expensive thing was the grow lights, but you don't need them necessarily if you have a good sunlight space in the house. And you won't have to worry about being put on a DEA watchlist.
I never thought I'd be a gardener (not much adrenaline involved) but the kids love it. I'm still cool, right? Just kidding. If you have to ask that, you're probably Not. So, yea. Greenthumb Edie. Greedie. Uber cool.
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When you can't afford bath toys

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THE FUNNY THING IS, I THINK HE WAS JUST AS INTERESTED IN THESE TOY BOATS AS HE IS IN ONES THAT ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE BOATS. :)

The power of imagination. And the thing is, if kids don't expect to have everything, they learn to adapt. It wasn't my idea to use the empty shampoo bottles to play with - HE asked to use them before I threw them away. But he asked because he didn't have an expectation of having some fancy toy in the bathtub. He just wanted something, so he came up with an idea on his own.

A kid who is handed toys that speak for him and move for him and take all the imagination away is unable to create worlds for himself when he doesn't have the aid of flashing lights and moving wheels and video games.

So, next time Junior asks to have the newest toy, tell him NO. You'll be a better parent for it.

Cereal for breakfast

we had cereal for dinner. We all got to go to the store and pick out our own cereals. Not something I would normally do, but something that was fun. Not surprisingly, the kids all picked out something sugary. I know its bad for them, but I think its worth it in the long run. A moment on the lips, forever in the memory. It was fun, and sometimes that's all that matters. Not everything has to be good for you.
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